Yesterday was Cj's birthday. I tried to be all sentimental and tell him this nice story about the day he was born, but he just said,
"Let me retell that story. Make it a little more interesting."
This is Cj's version....
My water broke, which was weird bc I didn't even know I was pregnant. Then I went to the hospital & threw up on the Dr. Finally you were born, and it was weird again bc you weren't a baby; you were a cat.
Monday, September 16, 2013
Friday, September 13, 2013
The Odd Mystery of the Missing Teeth
The dentist gave Cj a little, blue box to store the teeth he loses in until he puts them under the pillow for the tooth fairy. But Cj doesn't put them under his pillow because likes to keep his teeth for himself, not to play with (that would be weird), no, he just gets them out every now and then to look at them. (That's not weird at all).
After being at his dad's, he went and got his blue box, so he could look at his teeth for awhile. (because that's not weird at all). Oddly enough the teeth were gone.
He accused me first, and I swear that I did not touch his teeth! In fact I said, "Why would I want your old teeth? For that matter, why do YOU want your old teeth?"
After much deliberation, he's come to the conclusion that the tooth fairy snuck in and stole them. He even found a quarter on the end table which he felt was further evidence.
Ever since there's been constant complaining and I'm pretty sure he considers the Tooth Fairy to be his Arch Nemesis at this point. Since she breaks into people's houses, robs boys of their treasures (bc old teeth are treasures- that's not weird at all), and she leaves a quarter in their place which insists in no way equals the value of his teeth at all.
Meanwhile, I honestly have NO idea what actually happened to those teeth.
After being at his dad's, he went and got his blue box, so he could look at his teeth for awhile. (because that's not weird at all). Oddly enough the teeth were gone.
He accused me first, and I swear that I did not touch his teeth! In fact I said, "Why would I want your old teeth? For that matter, why do YOU want your old teeth?"
After much deliberation, he's come to the conclusion that the tooth fairy snuck in and stole them. He even found a quarter on the end table which he felt was further evidence.
Ever since there's been constant complaining and I'm pretty sure he considers the Tooth Fairy to be his Arch Nemesis at this point. Since she breaks into people's houses, robs boys of their treasures (bc old teeth are treasures- that's not weird at all), and she leaves a quarter in their place which insists in no way equals the value of his teeth at all.
Meanwhile, I honestly have NO idea what actually happened to those teeth.
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
How to Insure that I Might Actually Read Your Blog Post
As an avid reader, who loves to read anything from poems to novels to blogs, here are some tips that might actually insure that I will read your blog post. If it is really good I may actually even share it.
1. Do Not Be Long Winded
It is a blog post, not a novel. I can read clever Twitter posts all day, and at only 140 characters to boot! If I want to read something that takes a very long time, I could read an extra long witty Facebook Status or two. Why would I want to read your blog post that is going on six pages when you type it up on Word. This is a busy world we live in, find your inner-Hemmingway.
2. Tell Me Something You REALLY Know About
The internet has created a multitude of sages. I have found that on topics I actually care about the well-learned have blogs, as well as those that just think they know something. If you are sharing about something I can learn from someone who actually knows about the topic, with nothing new to add, your post is a waste of my time.
3. Admit It When You Do Not Know Everything
If you are just learning something, or maybe a topic has become more clear to you, or maybe you are struggling with something...reading about your journey is actually something interesting that I will read. Maybe I will even be able to relate to your experience.
4. Make it Colorful
Add some pictures, a video, Do something fun!
Just a couple ideas I came up after trying to read some blogs today. Do you know of an interesting blog? Please Share!
1. Do Not Be Long Winded
It is a blog post, not a novel. I can read clever Twitter posts all day, and at only 140 characters to boot! If I want to read something that takes a very long time, I could read an extra long witty Facebook Status or two. Why would I want to read your blog post that is going on six pages when you type it up on Word. This is a busy world we live in, find your inner-Hemmingway.
2. Tell Me Something You REALLY Know About
The internet has created a multitude of sages. I have found that on topics I actually care about the well-learned have blogs, as well as those that just think they know something. If you are sharing about something I can learn from someone who actually knows about the topic, with nothing new to add, your post is a waste of my time.
3. Admit It When You Do Not Know Everything
If you are just learning something, or maybe a topic has become more clear to you, or maybe you are struggling with something...reading about your journey is actually something interesting that I will read. Maybe I will even be able to relate to your experience.
4. Make it Colorful
Add some pictures, a video, Do something fun!
Just a couple ideas I came up after trying to read some blogs today. Do you know of an interesting blog? Please Share!
Monday, March 25, 2013
Zombie Dreams
Reading “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies” and also writing
an analysis paper on an article about genetically modified foods resulted in a
CrAzY weird dream last night!
We were living in this trailer park, straight out of “The
Last Starfighter”, only it was surrounded by corn fields. The corn was
horribly, gross, genetically modified and turning everyone into zombies. I had
this theory that the government was involved and I wanted to expose them and
save the world.
Meanwhile, there was this creepy, old guy who reminded me of
the creepy old guy from the movie “The Burbs”.
The old guy lived in our trailer park and totally was involved in some
way. I couldn’t figure out if he was trying to help end the zombie mayhem or if
he was a part of creating the zombie mayhem. But his creepiness led me to not
trust him at all. I decided to investigate and, as any good mother will do, I
recruited my 7-year-old to help me. So we go sneaking around the old, creepy,
Burbs Dude’s house looking in the windows.
I saw that he had corn growing INSIDE his trailer. Was he growing it to
try and create non-GM-zombie-making corn plants? Or was he trying to create
more zombies? (Like to build a zombie army, or maybe the government wanted to
turn anyone who doesn’t quietly go along with whatever new laws they created into
undead, doomed, monsters who are more concerned with the craving of human
flesh, than they are about rebelling against an overgrown, power-hungry
government.)
Clearly my only option was to break into house and check out
this little lab he had going in there. So, being the responsible mother that I
clearly was in this dream, I managed to get a window open and helped Cj climb
through it and have him go open the front door for me. Cj and I were in there
investigating this place, when the old, creepy dude suddenly came home! We
managed to sneak out the back door before he caught us, and ran home. We were
busy killing all the zombies at our house when the old dude came looking for
us, and so we had to stay away from him and the zombies. Finally, thank
goodness I woke up because that dream was making me tired!
Friday, March 15, 2013
What To Do When A Book Is TOO Good To Put Down
What do you do when you are reading a book and it is just SO good that you can't put it down, and you just HAVE to know how it's going to end?
Here are few suggestions;
1. Read while you are talking on the phone (If the person you are talking to is boring. Just be sure to say Yeah, and Uh-uh everynow and then.)
2. Read with one hand while you stir dinner with other. You could end up burnt so PLEASE NOTE THAT THE WRITER OF THIS BLOG IS NOT RESPONSIBLE OR LIABLE IN ANYWAY FOR ANY INJURYS SUFFERED WHILE FOLLOWING THE ADVICE FOUND IN THIS BLOG.
3. Read with one hand while you load the dishwasher with the other hand.
4. Read with one hand while you put your socks and shoes on with other hand.
5. Read with one hand while you water your garden with the other hand.
6. Read with one hand while you start laundry with the other hand.
7. Read while you are cutting veggies for dinner. Simple take two glasses, and various pieces of silverware sticking up inside the glasses, and fix your book to stand up, or lay your book on the table, and hold it open with a remote control, or the phone. (Then you can talk to the boring person, cut veggies, and read all the same time, just remember to keep saying Yeah and Uh-uh.) PLEASE NOTE THAT THE WRITER OF THIS BLOG IS NOT RESPONSIBLE OR LIABLE IN ANYWAY FOR ANY INJURYS SUFFERED WHILE FOLLOWING THE ADVICE FOUND IN THIS BLOG.
8. Read while you are eating dinner. Just follow instructions for holding your book from above. PLEASE NOTE THAT THE WRITER OF THIS BLOG IS NOT RESPONSIBLE OR LIABLE IN ANYWAY FOR ANY CHOKINGS SUFFERED WHILE FOLLOWING THE ADVICE FOUND IN THIS BLOG.
9. Read with one hand while you are mopping, sweeping, dusting, etc.
10. Read while watching Soap Operas, simply watch only the interesting characters and read during commercials. (You can finish the book REALLY fast this way!)
11. Read while on the toilet. I mean let's be honest, we ARE a country of mulit-taskers, make the most of that time! Kill two birds with one stone! Not too mention, you could fake constipation and just stay in there for awhile, you will get more reading done that way. Every now and then just make some groaning sounds. Then after you finish the book, your family will feel so sorry for you and your problems that they will take care of you, make dinner, clean, AND there ya go, just made more reading time! (You need to rest, relax, and read you just spent 45 minutes, groaning on the toilet)
12. Read while taking a long, hot, bubble bath.
13. Read while my Dad is preaching...jk, jk.....Had to keep it in there!
14. Read while your husband is talking. PLEASE NOTE THAT THE WRITER OF THIS BLOG IS NOT RESPONSIBLE OR LIABLE IN ANYWAY FOR ANY MARRAIGE PROBLEMS SUFFERED FROM FOLLOWING THE ADVICE FOUND IN THIS BLOG.
15. Read while your husband is driving.
16. Read with one hand while driving with the other hand. PLEASE NOTE THAT THE WRITER OF THIS BLOG IS NOT RESPONSIBLE OR LIABLE IN ANYWAY FOR ANY INJURYS SUFFERED OR TICKETS RECIEVED WHILE FOLLOWING THE ADVICE FOUND IN THIS BLOG.
17. Read in the Doctors office.
18. Read while waiting in line at the store, bank, library, etc. (Once again! Multi-task)
19. Read while waiting in lines for rides at Kings Island. I have done this, and I will warn you, this will lead to being asked tons of questions about the book and to you reccomending beloved books to other readers. I didn't get a ton of reading done due to the interuptions but I did make new friends, so it's all good.
Now what have you learned from reading this blog? Remember when you get a book out of the library, you have know idea just where it has been.
Here are few suggestions;
1. Read while you are talking on the phone (If the person you are talking to is boring. Just be sure to say Yeah, and Uh-uh everynow and then.)
2. Read with one hand while you stir dinner with other. You could end up burnt so PLEASE NOTE THAT THE WRITER OF THIS BLOG IS NOT RESPONSIBLE OR LIABLE IN ANYWAY FOR ANY INJURYS SUFFERED WHILE FOLLOWING THE ADVICE FOUND IN THIS BLOG.
3. Read with one hand while you load the dishwasher with the other hand.
4. Read with one hand while you put your socks and shoes on with other hand.
5. Read with one hand while you water your garden with the other hand.
6. Read with one hand while you start laundry with the other hand.
7. Read while you are cutting veggies for dinner. Simple take two glasses, and various pieces of silverware sticking up inside the glasses, and fix your book to stand up, or lay your book on the table, and hold it open with a remote control, or the phone. (Then you can talk to the boring person, cut veggies, and read all the same time, just remember to keep saying Yeah and Uh-uh.) PLEASE NOTE THAT THE WRITER OF THIS BLOG IS NOT RESPONSIBLE OR LIABLE IN ANYWAY FOR ANY INJURYS SUFFERED WHILE FOLLOWING THE ADVICE FOUND IN THIS BLOG.
8. Read while you are eating dinner. Just follow instructions for holding your book from above. PLEASE NOTE THAT THE WRITER OF THIS BLOG IS NOT RESPONSIBLE OR LIABLE IN ANYWAY FOR ANY CHOKINGS SUFFERED WHILE FOLLOWING THE ADVICE FOUND IN THIS BLOG.
9. Read with one hand while you are mopping, sweeping, dusting, etc.
10. Read while watching Soap Operas, simply watch only the interesting characters and read during commercials. (You can finish the book REALLY fast this way!)
11. Read while on the toilet. I mean let's be honest, we ARE a country of mulit-taskers, make the most of that time! Kill two birds with one stone! Not too mention, you could fake constipation and just stay in there for awhile, you will get more reading done that way. Every now and then just make some groaning sounds. Then after you finish the book, your family will feel so sorry for you and your problems that they will take care of you, make dinner, clean, AND there ya go, just made more reading time! (You need to rest, relax, and read you just spent 45 minutes, groaning on the toilet)
12. Read while taking a long, hot, bubble bath.
13. Read while my Dad is preaching...jk, jk.....Had to keep it in there!
14. Read while your husband is talking. PLEASE NOTE THAT THE WRITER OF THIS BLOG IS NOT RESPONSIBLE OR LIABLE IN ANYWAY FOR ANY MARRAIGE PROBLEMS SUFFERED FROM FOLLOWING THE ADVICE FOUND IN THIS BLOG.
15. Read while your husband is driving.
16. Read with one hand while driving with the other hand. PLEASE NOTE THAT THE WRITER OF THIS BLOG IS NOT RESPONSIBLE OR LIABLE IN ANYWAY FOR ANY INJURYS SUFFERED OR TICKETS RECIEVED WHILE FOLLOWING THE ADVICE FOUND IN THIS BLOG.
17. Read in the Doctors office.
18. Read while waiting in line at the store, bank, library, etc. (Once again! Multi-task)
19. Read while waiting in lines for rides at Kings Island. I have done this, and I will warn you, this will lead to being asked tons of questions about the book and to you reccomending beloved books to other readers. I didn't get a ton of reading done due to the interuptions but I did make new friends, so it's all good.
Now what have you learned from reading this blog? Remember when you get a book out of the library, you have know idea just where it has been.
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