Orginally published January 19, 2009
My cat loves music. It is so funny, no matter where the cat is in the house, if you start singing loud enough for her to hear you, she will come to you. She then rubs up against you, or jumps in your lap, and will purr, like she is saying, "Thank you for the concert". Like any other music lover, she likes some music better than others. For instance, Diana was practicing to sing in church Sunday, she was singing, "Come to Jesus". The cat was going crazy, just purring madly, rubbing up against her; I mean she was in love with Diana! She acted like she had gotten ahold of some cat nip. This morning I was listening to my iPod and started singing along to "Mountain Music" by Alabama. The cat stopped whatever it was that she was doing, and ran to me, jumped up on my lap, realized I sounded AWFUL, jumped down and ran away.
The other night I was working on the Annual Report, and I thought that Jerrid had put Calvin to bed. Instead, Jerrid just watched a game and let him play around upstairs....with a cell phone. So, Calvin comes wondering downstairs after 10, with that, "I solemnly swear I'm up to no good" look on his face. I just thought, "Oh no, what's he done now." So, I asked him, "What have you been doing?”. He answered, "taking pictures". Now, I was REALLY thinking, "OH, NO!!", because he doesn't own a camera! I asked him, "What were taking pictures with?" And he answered, "The cell phone." Naturally, I assumed that he had called or texted Japan. (He does know how to text, just ask Diana’s poor friend Lauren. ) He said, "I took some pictures of myself...Then I didn't text...Then I did something else". Bet, you can't guess what I thought when I heard that....."OH NO!!!!". It took me awhile to try and figure out what he did, he kept saying, "I took pictures of myself...Then I didn't text...Then I did something else..." I kept saying "WHAT DID YOU DO?" Finally, he said, "Oh, you mean what I did after I took pictures of myself and then I didn't text?" ....."YES, WHAT DID YOU DO?" He answered, "I did something else, but it wasn't texting." Realizing I wasn't going to find out what the something else was from him, I went and found the cell phone and started looking over the history. Turns out the something else was that he called my Aunt at 10:02 pm. He tried to lie and say he didn't call her, when I asked him about it. But I told him that the phone knows what he did with it, it remembers it all, and that it made a list, and the list told me what it was he did. Tattle-telling, he understands. So then he says, "Well, I didn't TALK to her." Apparently, the phone just rang "about a million times"! Ugh! I just wish I had a little more understanding into the minds of little boys, because they just surprise me every single day. And I grew up with Charles and Matthew, so you would think that would be impossible by now!
Now don't feel too bad for Calvin about staying up so late, and missing out on sleep. He took a pretty much whole day long nap yesterday to make up for it. I don't know what Aunt Bobbie did to make up for him waking her up at 10:02 pm though.
It was funny when he texted Lauren though, because he texted something like “idc jfi”. And she texted back, “Huh?” She probably thought Diana was using some text talk or something. So Calvin kept texting, most his texts to her were like “idhfieh9e3hf9” because he would just hit random numbers and letters and then hit send. She texted back, “I don’t understand you”. It was so funny, I admit, I didn’t stop him, because I was laughing too hard. Finally the phone rang, I was like, “I'm caught now!". So I just handed Calvin the phone, and said, “It’s for you.” So he answered the phone, he was like "Hello, this is Calvin". I could hear Lauren saying, "Calvin, can I talk to Diana? Where is Diana?" Calvin just kept answering her by saying...“Is this my Grandma Valerie?..Is this my Aunt Mary?” I could hear poor Lauren, saying, “No, this is your sister’s friend, Lauren." Finally, he said, “I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE! DON’T CALL MY PHONE AGAIN!” Whoops, poor Lauren.
I tried to confuse Jerrid’s Mom one time when she was iming me on Yahoo. She would ask me something and I would answer, idk, and she would be like “WHAT!?” And I explained that meant, I don’t know. I continued shortening things, I gave her, idc, ttyl, jk, lol, rofl….Finally she sends me a message and it says, “iwbrbihtgttbr”. When I asked what she was saying, she said, “I will be right back, I have to go to the bathroom.” I admit she bested me there.
Right now, Calvin is watching "Handy Mandy". He is being taught about how to be politically correct when you have a rodent problem in your home. Handy Mandy is all, "We will find a kind way to catch the mouse, something that won't harm him." Then he is looking at all these evil mouse traps, ones that snap closed, breaking the dirty-little-virus-carrying-rodent's neck. Oh my no, that would never work, how cruel! Next there was a sticky one, poor Handy Mandy's Hammer almost couldn't get unstuck. I quit watching when he started heading all around town trying to find ways to to catch a mouse which is humane, so that he can let it go free..."free to run, free to dance,"..free to find a sneaky way back into the house so that it can chew holes in cereal boxes, leave germy, sticky, disgusting mouse tracks in drawers of silverware that Handy Mandy's neighbor eats off of, and then go and have hundreds and hundreds of mice babies. On the next episode of Handy Mandy, lets watch Handy Mandy run around town finding supplies to build his neighbor's a coffin. Seeing as how, the neighbor's house became invested with mice, and he caught a disgusting disease from them that killed him horribly, after a long and painful illness. Aren't you glad that we have Wilder Valderama (the voice of Handy Mandy) to teach our kids how to be politically correct? He is such a wonderful role model! He got high on "That 70s Show", got his pics in loads of magazines while he was doing the Hollywood club scene, and he dated Lindsay Lohan when she was so young that it was literally illegal. I can see why Disney thinks that he can teach our children how to grow up and become productive members of society better then their own parents.
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