Zombie Dreams

Reading “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies” and also writing an analysis paper on an article about genetically modified foods resulted in a CrAzY weird dream last night!

We were living in this trailer park, straight out of “The Last Starfighter”, only it was surrounded by corn fields. The corn was horribly, gross, genetically modified and turning everyone into zombies. I had this theory that the government was involved and I wanted to expose them and save the world.

Meanwhile, there was this creepy, old guy who reminded me of the creepy old guy from the movie “The Burbs”.  The old guy lived in our trailer park and totally was involved in some way. I couldn’t figure out if he was trying to help end the zombie mayhem or if he was a part of creating the zombie mayhem. But his creepiness led me to not trust him at all. I decided to investigate and, as any good mother will do, I recruited my 7-year-old to help me. So we go sneaking around the old, creepy, Burbs Dude’s house looking in the windows.  I saw that he had corn growing INSIDE his trailer. Was he growing it to try and create non-GM-zombie-making corn plants? Or was he trying to create more zombies? (Like to build a zombie army, or maybe the government wanted to turn anyone who doesn’t quietly go along with whatever new laws they created into undead, doomed, monsters who are more concerned with the craving of human flesh, than they are about rebelling against an overgrown, power-hungry government.)

Clearly my only option was to break into house and check out this little lab he had going in there. So, being the responsible mother that I clearly was in this dream, I managed to get a window open and helped Cj climb through it and have him go open the front door for me. Cj and I were in there investigating this place, when the old, creepy dude suddenly came home! We managed to sneak out the back door before he caught us, and ran home. We were busy killing all the zombies at our house when the old dude came looking for us, and so we had to stay away from him and the zombies. Finally, thank goodness I woke up because that dream was making me tired!

What To Do When A Book Is TOO Good To Put Down

What do you do when you are reading a book and it is just SO good that you can't put it down, and you just HAVE to know how it's going to end?
Here are few suggestions;
1. Read while you are talking on the phone (If the person you are talking to is boring. Just be sure to say Yeah, and Uh-uh everynow and then.)

2. Read with one hand while you stir dinner with other. You could end up burnt so PLEASE NOTE THAT THE WRITER OF THIS BLOG IS NOT RESPONSIBLE OR LIABLE IN ANYWAY FOR ANY INJURYS SUFFERED WHILE FOLLOWING THE ADVICE FOUND IN THIS BLOG.


3. Read with one hand while you load the dishwasher with the other hand.
4. Read with one hand while you put your socks and shoes on with other hand.

5. Read with one hand while you water your garden with the other hand.

6. Read with one hand while you start laundry with the other hand.

7. Read while you are cutting veggies for dinner. Simple take two glasses, and various pieces of silverware sticking up inside the glasses, and fix your book to stand up, or lay your book on the table, and hold it open with a remote control, or the phone. (Then you can talk to the boring person, cut veggies, and read all the same time, just remember to keep saying Yeah and Uh-uh.) PLEASE NOTE THAT THE WRITER OF THIS BLOG IS NOT RESPONSIBLE OR LIABLE IN ANYWAY FOR ANY INJURYS SUFFERED WHILE FOLLOWING THE ADVICE FOUND IN THIS BLOG.

8. Read while you are eating dinner. Just follow instructions for holding your book from above. PLEASE NOTE THAT THE WRITER OF THIS BLOG IS NOT RESPONSIBLE OR LIABLE IN ANYWAY FOR ANY CHOKINGS SUFFERED WHILE FOLLOWING THE ADVICE FOUND IN THIS BLOG.

9. Read with one hand while you are mopping, sweeping, dusting, etc.

10. Read while watching Soap Operas, simply watch only the interesting characters and read during commercials. (You can finish the book REALLY fast this way!)

11. Read while on the toilet. I mean let's be honest, we ARE a country of mulit-taskers, make the most of that time! Kill two birds with one stone! Not too mention, you could fake constipation and just stay in there for awhile, you will get more reading done that way. Every now and then just make some groaning sounds. Then after you finish the book, your family will feel so sorry for you and your problems that they will take care of you, make dinner, clean, AND there ya go, just made more reading time! (You need to rest, relax, and read you just spent 45 minutes, groaning on the toilet)
12. Read while taking a long, hot, bubble bath.

13. Read while my Dad is preaching...jk, jk.....Had to keep it in there!
14. Read while your husband is talking. PLEASE NOTE THAT THE WRITER OF THIS BLOG IS NOT RESPONSIBLE OR LIABLE IN ANYWAY FOR ANY MARRAIGE PROBLEMS SUFFERED FROM FOLLOWING THE ADVICE FOUND IN THIS BLOG.

15. Read while your husband is driving.

16. Read with one hand while driving with the other hand. PLEASE NOTE THAT THE WRITER OF THIS BLOG IS NOT RESPONSIBLE OR LIABLE IN ANYWAY FOR ANY INJURYS SUFFERED OR TICKETS RECIEVED WHILE FOLLOWING THE ADVICE FOUND IN THIS BLOG.

17. Read in the Doctors office.

18. Read while waiting in line at the store, bank, library, etc. (Once again! Multi-task)

19. Read while waiting in lines for rides at Kings Island. I have done this, and I will warn you, this will lead to being asked tons of questions about the book and to you reccomending beloved books to other readers. I didn't get a ton of reading done due to the interuptions but I did make new friends, so it's all good.
Now what have you learned from reading this blog? Remember when you get a book out of the library, you have know idea just where it has been.